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I love the conversations I have with my four-year-old son, Caleb, sometimes. Here’s one that occurred today…
Caleb: Daddy, are we old?
Me: (chuckle) Well…I’m kinda old, and you’re really young
Caleb: Well I’m really young so I’m special.
Me: Yes, you are special, but older people are special, too.
Caleb: No, old people aren’t special. You’re old.
*We wreslte, then conversation resumes…
Caleb: Well, old people have fire…and their stomachs…and
Me: What?
Caleb: Well…well…when you get older, your battery dies, and so you’re not special anymore.
Me: Got it.
Not to self: Keep your battery charged.
As I drove into work this morning as is my usual routine I listened to a sermon from one of my favorite pastors, Matt Chandler (shout out). His lesson was on men, in particular Biblical masculinity and the roles men (should) play in family and the church.
I appreciated so much of what he said, especially as he talked about his son, citing his little boy’s natural tendancies as an illustration of the natural masculinity in boys. Like my son, he likes to wrestle, fight, roll around on the ground, and pick fights with dad. It’s great. Wrestling with Caleb is one of my all-time favorite past times!
He went on to describe another side of his son. His little boy likes to play with his older sister’s barbies and often prances around in her shoes. The brighter, the more gliterry, the better, Chandler claimed. I chuckeled because once again I had to agree that my boy is just the same.
Kelly and I have struggled with Caleb’s tendancies to want to wear girl shoes and clothes, pretend to be the mom or the (woman) teacher. He is drawn to a lot of other girl things as well like princesses. Yet at the same time he loves lizards, climbing trees (with my help, of course), fight scenes, star wars clone wars (a favorite), and being as loud as possible. Still, his affinity for “girly” things has been a cause for much concern, and if I am to be honest, down right fear of how he’ll turn out!
As I listened to Matt Chandler discuss the topic of masculinity, the Holy Spirit convicted me in a big way. In our messed up society in which women assume men’s roles while men take a back seat, where we think a real man is the one who can drink the most beer, sleep with the most women, or throw and kick a ball the farthest, I must confess that even my idea of a man has been skewed. God was working on my heart in an area I thought I had down. I came to realize in that moment that being a man has little to do with activity and so much to do with identity! Being into “guy things” does not make a male more of a man any more than being into “girl things” makes him less of one. A man must recognize who God has created him to be and what GOD has created him to do, and not just what our society says he should do! A man is a responsible male who leads his church, his family, and his community well, bearing the responsibility for each. A man loves and serves his wife, teaches his children, and cherishes and protects them all.
I felt so convicted by allowing fear and the lies of Satan to influence my wife and I concerning the future of our son. Caleb becomes more and more “boyish” everyday it seems. If I really think about it, he has scarcely any understanding of gender distinction. He reenacts what he experiences no matter who it is. He does the things he likes no matter what it looks like. He is simply growing up! And I am 100% confident that the older he gets, the less he will be into shoes and princesses and the more he’ll be into fighting and bugs. And with each step I’ll have the great joy of instructing him on how to truly be a man-a very masculine man. And no matter what his activity, he’ll always be secure in his identity.
I wrote this because I’m sure there are so many dad’s out there who don’t know how to feel when their little boy prances around in mom’s high heels. In our homophobic era, I want you to rest assured that it is completely normal and says nothing of the kind of boy-or man-he’ll be in the future. Let him play, let him have fun, sneak him a ball or a sword or a snake whenever you can, but don’t worry! Pray that his identity will be secure in his heavenly Father. Pray that he becomes a man like the best man we’ve ever known, Jesus. Pray that he is a great husband and father. Trust God to do His work, and just have fun watching your little boy grow up. I don’t know what can be worse than raising your kids out of fear. So let’s show them how to be a real man and raise them in faith!
O Lord, my God
I praise you for Your sovereignty!
What can escape Your will? Who can resist it?
Your purposes will ripen fast.
As I ponder the reality of our existence, I struggle to comprehend the juxtaposition of Your sovereign will with the real choices and consequences You have ordained for us. Yet I will praise You and Your great name! With David I must proclaim “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” (Psalm 139:6).
I cannot grasp the inner workings of Your Spirit in creation. I cannot ascertain the how’s or the why’s, but I trust You! I trust You, my God, O God of my salvation-Lord in whom I’ve placed my trust! You have called me to exist in this place, limited by time and by the unseen. It is my destiny to walk by faith, trusting in Your sovereignty, and placing my hope fully in You to cause all things to work together for the good of those who love You and who are called according to Your purpose (Romans 8:28). I will praise You forever, my loving Father, God in Heaven!
Seriously…love them. I know, that’s supposed to happen, right? I totally agree, except I REALLY REALLY love them and love (almost) everything about them!
Maylea is my princess with attitude. One minute she has the most precious smile and sweat demeanor, and the next she ’s letting out a shrill squeal that would give Beelzebub a run for his money.
And Caleb is a firecracker! He’s full of energy…full. He’s never had an affinity for sleep. Nap time is a constant battle, often concluding with spankings, crying, and ultimately rest-for all of us. But he is so much fun to play with! He loves to wrestle, beat on things (and people sometimes, too) and make as much noise as possible. And he makes the best faces.
Maylea is daily developing a personality and I can’t wait so see the ultimate outcome. Caleb, meanwhile, is a lover of music and all things musical, and his intelligence never ceases to amaze me. I swear he gets smarter by the minute.
My kids are amazing. I often have those talks with friends of mine who are married with no children. They want to make the best of their kid-less days. Great. Wonderful if that’s what you want. BUT, believe me, you’ll never regret having them. It can be tough at times, and they’re definitely a restraint on freedom, but they are the greatest sources of joy this side of Heaven we’ll ever have!
I’ve been wrestling with some deep thoughts lately (yes, deep thoughts, Trey…impressed?) on God, heaven, and the bible ‘n such. My quandary is in seeking to understand, truly understand, all that we claim to believe concerning those subjects. Anyway, my meditation has been inconclusive for the most part, but I did have an interesting experience today.
I went for a prayer walk through the woods of the Nature Preserve in Plano earlier this morning. As I sat on a fallen log and wondered, my eyes became fixed on a mossy tree standing proudly before me.
“This tree is no accident,” I considered. In fact, none of this is. None of creation and not you and not me are mere results of coincidence.
God is real ladies and gents. He is ever alive, and His purposes for us will come to pass. The vastness of the sky, the waving branches of the trees, and the birds song this morning all spoke of His wonder and glory and His creative power to bring and sustain life.
Creation indeed sings of His Glory and what have I to do, therefore, than to join in their song.
It’s funny to me how often a student asks me what I do everyday. It’s funny because when I tell them I work at the church they get this surprised look on their face and say, “really??”
“Yeah, really.”
Then comes the other question I hear every time. “So what do you do all day?”
So, for all those who wonder…
Write messages, update the website, plan activities, coordinate big events (i.e. The Launch), Meetings (lots of these), Phone calls (lots of these, too), Email (again, lots), Update our social networks, graphic design, plan outreaches & front door ministries, Meet with students, newsletter, plan Base Camp series, fundraising plans, schedule leadership training, plan leadership training, hospital visits, emergency care, weddings, funerals…
And that’s just me. There’s still Johnny, Jesse, David, and Dennis, all of whom are up here full time as well. Yup, we have full weeks just like the rest of the working force of our nation. The cool thing, though, is that I get to do so much FUN stuff like make videos and such. Best of all, I get to work with teenagers! And to top it all off, somebody actually PAYS ME TO DO IT! Can you believe it? I’m telling you, it’s a lot of work, but it’s definately worth it!
May your minds be at ease. I work. Full time. At the church…and I’m busy.
I’ve become a big fan of fantasy. Over the past couple of years I’ve read plenty of Tolkein, C.S. Lewis, and Salvatore (Legend of Dritz). The common theme in any work of fantasy is the struggle between the forces of good and evil, and the need and ensuing presence of a figure to “balance the scales”-a savior.
There’s an interesting parallel that occurs in the early chapters of Genesis that struck me this morning as I read. On the one hand you have Cain, and his lineage, and their stories. Cain’s are portrayed as the antagonists in this story, the very embodiment of the evil of mankind. Lamech, the great-great-great-grandson to Cain defends himself to his wives (the first recorded instance of polygamy) for the murder of a young man who allegedly injured him in some way. His defense is that Cain was “avenged” seven times and so he (Lamech) is avenged seventy-seven times. But what was Cain avenged for? What wrong was done to him? The Lord, displeased with his offering, looked upon his brother, Abel, with favor and in his anger Cain killed his brother. So Cain screws up by bringing God a wanton offering that the Lord is displeased by, and so rather than correct his mistake, he takes out his brother.
And now we have Lamech, who undoubtedly commits a similar act when he takes the life of the “offending” young man. Indeed, if Lamech is avenged “seventy-seven times” then I can only imagine how inconsequential a wrong the young man committed that resulted in the loss of his life.
What does all this have to do with fantasy? It’s just like it! You see, just a couple of verses later, Adam’s grandson, Enosh, is born and “at that time men began to call on the name of the Lord” (Gen. 4:26). There’s the ancient struggle-the dichotomy between good and evil. A line of Adam, despite being overwhelmingly surrounded by evil, has hope and trust in the One who can save them, the Lord.
Of course, this struggle continues for millennia until one day, the Savior, Jesus comes and rescues us from the decayed world we live in. I know we still live here and continue to struggle against evil, but one thing is sure. I’m glad to know my Redeemer lives, He has come to rescue us, and I’ll see him again when He comes back to finally bring me home to Glory!
I’ve always wanted to do it and now I’ve done it. I officially have a mustache. Actually, I haven’t ALWAYS wanted to do it, just for the past several months really, though I’ve always wondered what I would look like with one.
I convinced a couple friends to join me in this and thus the hair was grown. Literally laughing the entire time I was shaving it, I couldn’t help but be delighted at the finished product. Needless to say my wife did not share my sentiment. She threatened not to kiss me until it was gone (the plan is to keep it through the weekend-5 days!), but alas she just can’t resist me and caved in within minutes.
It’s been pretty fun so far and I’ve gotten completely different reactions from people. Everything from laughs, to disgust, and even an “it’s not too bad.” And EVERYONE compares me to some movie character cop of varying films. Add the glasses, and you’ve got your quintessential Boston policeman.
So, this is day one. Let’s see if I make it to 5. And here’s some more pictures of me and Johnny.
Recently, I’ve noticed an interesting quirk about myself that I just can’t stop thinking about (Insert obligatory sarcastic remark about my funny quirks here). I have this obsessive compulsive need to top everything off.
For instance, the other day I was making my son some Ovaltine (one of his favorites & mine). I pour the milk. I shake in what seems like a proper amount. “But wait…I think it needs just a little more,” and I shook a little more in.
The funny thing is it really isn’t necessary. It really won’t make a noticeable difference. And it could be anything-like pouring water. I turn the faucet off, but then add just a couple more drops.
I know this is silly, but I do it ALL THE TIME! And I notice it every time and laugh at how silly it is. So…any other topper offers out there? Or do you have a different quirk?
One might think that in today’s world of advanced transportation and technology it would be easy to get your family of four to something like, say, the Plano Balloon Festival. One might think. Thus we ventured off, my wife, daughter, and son, en route for the festival. We anticipated a great evening watching the balloons launch as we admired the myriad of shapes and designs-the best hot air ballooning has to offer. The evening would conclude in a show of glow with each balloon lighting up using it’s own flame. Indeed, this was to be a night to remember!
We rolled out of our apartment complex in high spirits when we had a sudden change of plans. My wife, Kelly, upon checking her voicemail got a desperate message from our apartment office requesting our assistance with a pressing issue. Begrudgingly, we turned back and as quickly as possible helped to alleviate the situation. With time lost we were scrabling to arrive in time for the launch. We arrived at the Spring Valley Dart Rail station, very much to the excitement of my 3 year old, Caleb, who had been looking forward to riding on the yellow train. We borded the train within minutes of our arrival and proceeded to our next leg, Plano’s Parker Road station. So far, so good. I was surprised to find at the Parker station what looked to be a couple hundred people waiting in line for the “continuously running” festival shuttles. The busses ran continuously, however, they only had four (4, quatro) shuttles for the entire festival. We had waited in line for over 30 minutes and gotten word that a return trip was no shorter and very likely would have been an even longer wait.
We concluded that it would be in everyone’s best interest to prevent a long wait with tired, cranky kids who have stayed up WELL beyond their bed times-the obvious conclusion had we have continued on to the festival. We re-boarded the trian and talked through some back up plans. I called reunion tower. Caleb would love the sights of downtown from high up in the lighted revolving ball. It was closed for renovations. We called some close friends to see about dinner plans. They were awaiting a trip to the hospital pending the delivery of a relatives first baby. We got to our car and decided on the best option we had-pancakes. Caleb couldn’t contain himself when we suggested a trip to IHOP for some fresh hot cakes. We pulled up to IHOP. Guess what. It was closed for renovations.
“Okay, how about the Original House of Pancakes? There’s one right near our apartment,” I suggested. We arrived at the dimnly lit OHOP only to find it, too, was closed. Unlike it’s competition, it is only open 24 hours on the weekend. Pancakes were out, and, so it seemed, Donuts were in! My son was satisfied with yet another change in plans and we headed to Dunkin’. We set out to witness hot air balloons put on a good show in east Plano, but instead, we ate Freebird’s burritos and got donuts for the kids.
Unfortunately, the even coordinators for the balloon fest didn’t provide adequate transportation despite having access to one of the most advanced public transportation systems in the state. Still, we enjoyed some quality time as a family, and we all had fun even if most of our time was spent standing, riding, or driving.
